Quote of the weekend: “Hey John, tell them about the time you caught on fire.”

Second quote of the weekend: John: “It actually happened twice.”

Pollen spores were the name of the game in Gettysburg this weekend.  The Hubs had some kind of violent, pollen/grass/spore/whatever induced reaction and we had to leave the artillery event somewhat early.  He had congestion, weepy eyes, sore throat, hives, rash, everything.  It was super attractive.

And, basically, it’s how I look during the first ten minutes of the movie, “Up.”

This year is the 151st Anniversary of the Battle Gettysburg.  Apparently, the public is not excited about the 151st Anniversary.  Also, apparently the public was not excited about Gettysburg in the months following the 150th anniversary extravaganza.  Word on the street (and when I say the street, what I mean was me standing on Confederate Avenue and listening to a park ranger talk to one of the guys in our group) is that the park was deserted after the event last year.  I wish someone had told me this was going to happen, because desertion is my favorite time to visit Gettysburg.  It’s 6am and 35 degrees on Culp’s Hill?  Why yes, that’s me hiking in the snow.  There’s fewer people in my pictures that way.

Anyway, The Hubs and I watched the sunset from Little Round Top on Friday night, which was romantic for 99.9% of the time we were there.  Things started to go downhill when he got this dreamy, far off look in his eyes.  I said, “What are you looking at?”

“The grass.”

“Why?”

“I think it looks itchy.”

Sad.

In other news, I made the mistake of trying my reenacting dress on about forty-five seconds after eating three soft tacos.  Lets talk about how things went very, very wrong from this point.  My dress did not fit.  I mean, it’s never fit particularly well, because I don’t have a 24 inch waist and I bought a dress with a 24 inch waist.  But, that’s okay, because only, oh, let’s say two hook and eye closures didn’t fasten.  I put a belt over it anyway.  Well, this weekend a few more hook and eyes didn’t want to close.  And I’d eaten a lot of tacos.  So, The Hubs tried to lace me in my corset tighter, to which I said, “Ffffffffffff…….!”

To which he said, “I like your other dress better anyway.”

So, the other dress it is.  That’s fine, I like the other dress too.  I couldn’t find the undersleeves, so I figured I’d just…you know, keep moving so people didn’t notice my wrists hanging out or anything.  Then, I forgot to put suntan lotion on my chest and ended up with a very flat-topped, square, sun tan on my chest.  I look like I stood in front of a fence too long.  But look, my hair doesn’t even look purple!!  I look respectable.  You know, this coming from a person who changed her clothes in the middle of a parking lot.  Because I can’t put my corset on in the car.

I enjoy how this picture makes me look far less pale than I actually am.

I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t take many pictures at the event, namely because The Hubs was too busy sneezing and was so miserable and itchy we had to leave after the first day.  Here’s a positive/negative sandwich rundown of the weekend:

Positive: Somehow we ended up in a suite instead of the regular room I booked and our shower was bigger than my cube at Day Job

Negative: The Hubs looked like his sinus cavity was melting out his face

Negative: My computer power cord stopped working and I couldn’t write at all on vacation

Positive: I gave my first autographed book copy to one of my best reenactor buds who, fun fact, is yet to be scandalized by it.  This, however, may change as he’s not all that far into reading it yet…….

Anyway, so, let’s talk big reenacting events.  Let’s talk “running around in the heat with no shade and already we’re getting warned about not drinking enough water and possibly passing out from heat exhaustion” and we’re going to do it anyway because the sesquicentennial only happens once.  The 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Monocacy will be held at, obviously, Monocacy National Battlefield on July 5th and 6th.  It’s going to be awesome.  It’s also going to be really hot because it’s Maryland in July.  So, if you’re feeling adventurous and want to come out and see us, we’ll be there.  Somewhere, we don’t know where yet.  But, I’ll be hanging out with the Baltimore Light Artillery and probably the South Mountain guys because, like wine and cheese or Nutella and peanut butter, we go well together.

And, finally, here’s me and my all time favorite light artillery, the suburbly awesome and better than a 3 inch ordinance rifle, the light gun howitzer (also known as a Napoleon).  Love it.

Oh, and before I forget.  In response to why John (referenced above) caught on fire twice: he was using a linen sling for his musket.  Lesson learned, friends.  This is why you use leather.  We’re just helpfully paving the way to keep you all flame free and happy.

And just one more thing (geez, I can’t stop): what is this new, “Mature Tour” at Gettysburg?  I’m assuming it’s a ghost tour….but then…is it?  The Mature Tour.  Do I have to produce photo ID? Is it in the language of well-educated sailors?  Is it all about sex and drugs and other illicit things we don’t normally read about in history books?  Syphilis?  It’s syphilis, isn’t it.  I’m too cheap to actually take the tour, so I’m hoping someone else has gone on it and was either super excited about it, or super disappointed.  Let me know, peeps.  They can’t just tantalize the public with “Mature Tour” and not have a scintillating pamphlet to go along with it.  Come on, America.