When we last left 2020, I was on vacation in Gulfport, Mississippi, right before everything shut down and there was NO toilet paper and NO school and NO yeast because what do we do in the face of DOOM? We stay at home, strategize how to get TP, and learn to make bread from scratch. That’s what we do.
Once we got the hang of a global pandemic and we successfully had a pack or two of toilet paper (“What do you MEAN there was only one-ply left??”) and a container of yeast (“I thought you ordered brick online”), we mulled around the thought of vacation. Because, let’s be honest, we’d been in the house with each other since March. 24/7. My kids went on Spring Break in March and didn’t go back to school until AUGUST. AUGUST. THAT is the reason I drink. So, what eases that kind of stress, you may ask, because that’s a lot of stress. And this is coming from a person heavily medicated on anxiety meds to negate stress.
Answer: A family vacation with The Hubs, my children, my mother, my inlaws, and The Hubs’ uncle!
“NOTHING WILL GO WRONG.” The Hubs said.
“Hahahahahahaha, yeah right!” I said.
And to my actual surprise, it wasn’t that bad. And do you know what my bargaining chip was for agreeing to a family vacation in the middle of pandemic? Yorktown. That’s it. I demanded we stop at Yorktown while driving to the OBX.
And, yes, as I sat beside Redoubts 9 and 10, where Alexander Hamilton himself fought with Lafayette and Laurens, I DID sing numerous selections from Hamilton. Because that’s how I roll. The Hubs was less excited about musical accompaniment as we walked the battlefield. I wore a Hamilton themed t-shirt and a Hamilton mask. That’s how I roll: I fly my freak flag high.
Also, as you can see in the picture, I dyed my hair purple and blue. It was a new brand of colorful hair dye (Arctic Fox, #notsponsored) and I’m delighted to report it survived brutally hot weather. I have used a vibrant hair dye (that shall remain nameless) that, in the Pittsburgh heat, melted off my head and onto my face. Not cute. I’ll never forget the look of horror on The Hubs’ face when he frantically whispered, “Your hair is MELTING!!!”
I’m not wearing a mask in this picture. That’s because The Hubs and I were the only people in the vicinity.
What can I say about vacationing In These Trying Times? It wasn’t as bad or hard as I thought it might be. Here are some Pro Tips for survival.
- Hand sanitizer. I had one in my purse, as did my mom and my mother-in-law, and we had a big bottle of it in the house we rented. Plus, we drove down and had sanitizer in both vehicles.
- Masks! Got em. Got one for you and you and you! Everyone gets a mask!
- Outdoor activities. So, most museums were closed. LIKE YORKTOWN. But the outdoor parts of parks were open–we went to The Wright Brother’s National Monument, YORKTOWN Battlefield, Fort Raleigh (Lost Colony of Roanoke). We didn’t go to the beach (hilarious, seeing how people go to the OBX for THE BEACH) but we did go swimming in the pool. The condo we rented was in a little community and it was pretty well deserted. I saw a snake one day. Anyway, the moral of the story is, you can socially distance if you want to and it’s not that hard. A basically private pool doesn’t hurt either.
- We ate at home. Since we had a condo, we were able to cook there and eat at home. We did order from our favorite local restaurants and brought it home to eat.
- In a zombie apocalypse, you really only have to run faster than one member of your group.
Why do I not live here already? 
The original shoreline, circa the 1590s, was around 1400 feet out. Or something. 
Somewhere behind me, out in the water, is the Lost Colony of Roanoke 
Sizzle, sizzle. That’s the sound of my shoulders burning. 
See? Pro-tips on safety! 
The Rowdy boys, in a non rowdy moment 
Sunset from the Okracoke Ferry 
YORKTOWN! 
Alexander Hamilton. YAS. 
The Hubs. YAS, stand back ladies, this one’s mine. 
Outraged, my children hide from the outdoors while at The Wright Brothers National Monument 
Yorktown! And me!
So, yeah, checking out these pictures, there weren’t a ton of crowds to fight through and socially distance from. I wish I could tell you that I got massive amounts of writing done, but I didn’t. Not that I remember, anyway, because this was in August and now it’s what, January? 2020 was a year of March-March-March-MarApriMay-June-July-August-SeptOctNovDec. And before that? At this point in time, I feel like January and February 2020 didn’t even exist.
Me, with a cannon that Lafayette talked about. There’s a solid shot impact mark on the side. 
That tiny little dot in the woods is my mother and proof she was there.
Seeing as how Pennsylvania is one big bucket of suck right now, I’m ready to go back. The Hubs and I often like to sit and think, when pandemic and quarantine finally cracks us, do we run away to the OBX or Gulfport? But responsibility, in the form of our children asking for another snack, reminds us that we SIIIIIGH can’t.
In other news, you may have noticed that I re-vamped my website. Looking all nice and coordinated! I’m about to do the same with my newsletter, so if you haven’t signed up for it yet, click here and sign up! It’s fun. It’ll be fun. Something like that.