At some point during pandemic, I decided that I wasn’t busy enough and needed to take on something new. And what better way to take on something new than to get a pet!!
Now, The Hubs and I have been through pets in our million years together. This was our prep work prior to having children. We started with plants (those died). Fish (died). Hermit crabs (died). Hamster (DOMINATED FOR TWO YEARS and then died). Ferrets (only lasted a week and then went back to their original owner). Cats (Lord have mercy). Dog (deadly departed).
Being a parent is way easier than taking care of fish. Of course, we also had fish after we had The Rowdy Boys and I’ll never forget the time that Younger Son was, like, a year old, grabbed a tube from the tank, and started sucking water out of the tank. Then gravity took over and water was spurting all over the house, me, The Rowdy Boys, the dog. Chaos. Just chaos.
Anyway.
Older Son and I watch the Snake Guy (Brian Barczyk of bhbreptiles) on YouTube and I decided I wanted a leopard gecko. So, I googled the most important thing, I felt, in considering if a gecko was the pet for me: does a leopard gecko love its owner? Look, I’m DONE having kids. The Rowdy Boys are outgrowing their snuggliness. Okay, and maybe a person doesn’t equate snuggliness with reptiles. But I’m here to tell you: reptiles are snuggly.
Leopard geckos, however, are not the cuddliest. You know what is? A BEARDED DRAGON.
Meet my dragon son: Ziggy. Older son wanted to name him Boris. Younger Son wanted to name him Chubbs. I wanted to name him Hercules Mulligan, like in Hamilton, so I could run into the room and sing, “We had a spy on the inside, that’s right, HERCULES MULLIGAN.”
So, no one could agree on anything, so we compromised by me saying “Let’s just name him Bowie after David Bowie.” And The Hubs said, “How about Ziggy after Ziggy Stardust?”
And our tiny dinosaur became part of the fam.
A lot of money was spent on a nice tank, nice stand, lights, basking light, ceramic heater lamp. And THEN came the buggos. Baby bearded dragons eat 80% protein (bugs) and 20% salads. Unless you’re Ziggy, then you walk through your salad and only eat bugs. Grown up beardies eat 20% bugs and 80% salads and hahahahaha, I can just imagine the look on Ziggy’s face when I explain this to him. It’ll probably be similar to the look The Rowdy Boys give me when I waltz in and announce we’re having broccoli for dinner! And when Younger Son was three he went around telling people he was allergic to broccoli which was NOT TRUE. If Ziggy had vocal cords, he’d say the same. No. Doubt.
If he didn’t know it already, I’m pretty sure the mailman thinks I’m a weirdo, since I get boxes labeled LIVE BUGS in the mail on a weekly basis. Ziggy likes dubia roaches and black soldier fly larva. Actually, Ziggy’s not eating anything right now, because he’s in brumation, which is like hibernation, but without the commitment. He’s in his little house, sleeping underneath his little rug that my mother made him. I’ll take him out to check on him and we nap together (cough cough, I mean, I work and he sleeps cough cough).
Behold: My baby dragon.
Big smile! 
Of course he has a dragon wing leash. 
Festive Fall Ziggy 
Helping mom work. 
Surveying the great outdoors. 
This is what I think about your stupid kale. 
First time meeting Grammy 
After bath offended face. 
You can never hide from the paparazzi 
Snuggles with mom. Zzzzzzzz….
Needless to say, having a small, opinionated dinosaur in the house is fabulous. He hates baths. His poop stinks. He’s a picky eater. So, basically the same as being a mom to two boys. As a side note: The Hubs is his favorite. He leapt from one couch to the other so he could snuggle with my spouse, WHO DID NOT WANT A PET. Hmmmph.
Younger Son wants to dress him up as a taco for Halloween. I fully support this.
Well, January was a hell of a year. February came in a brought us, like, twelve inches of snow, so that was a real blast. All of my 2020 races were cancelled and the only races I signed up for in 2021 have been cancelled. Way to be, 2021.
He looks awesome! And the leash is the best. My older son (8) wanted a bearded dragon, but my husband said absolutely not.