The Jaws theme is playing quietly in the background.

I’m not even being dramatic: Jaws 2 is on and, despite the fact I’m mad it’s not Jaws 3, I left it on for company.

I’ve been MIA for awhile and I’d like to tell you it’s because I’ve been hard at work writing and publishing and creating. But, no. I’m just like…hard at work in the salt mines (aka Day Job) and studying the calendar, trying to figure out July 2022 when my brain is still trying to figure out March 2020 and HOW was the Tiger King part of pandemic THAT long ago??

It’s been a blast. Let’s just say I’m a solid believer that eyebrow gap is way more important than thigh gap. And the fact my thighs are just slapping away while I get back into running? It’s my body cheering me on. Clap clap clap.

The Hubs once notoriously said while I was working out, “What’s the slapping sound?”

IT’S MY THIGHS THIS FIGURE WAS VERY POPULAR IN THE 1950S THANK YOU.

Anyway.

Around my shifts at the salt mine and chasing my feral children around, it has come to my attention that I’m not doing great with keeping my writing career organized. Let’s hop into the Way Way Back Machine to 2000, when I graduated high school and started college. My parents didn’t make me work while I was in school (I worked summers) but were very “school IS your job, Heather, and you need to do well.” I’m, oh, let’s say, a weeeee bit of an anxious person, so I took that to mean “GET ALL THE A’s.” The school gave us an academic planner every year and that was MY LIFE. I wrote down every assignment, every due date. Everything. Did I have dates with boys? No I did not. But I knew exactly when that paper on Persuasive Writing was due and when the midterm for Statistics was. And I ended up with a 3.93 GPA, thanks to B’s in both micro and macro economics which mathematically prevented me from every getting a 4.0.

No, I’m not bitter.

So, that planning stage in my life went really swell. I was explaining to Older Son why I wasn’t sure I could homeschool him this year while simultaneously working in the salt mines and I told him about my college academic planner. And I thought, hmm, you should probably set something like that up with writing instead of just pumping out chapters between episodes of 90 Day Fiancé and Seeking Sister Wife.

I pulled out my mass of planning paraphernalia. I need to take this–

–And turn it into something useful. Something organized.

Look, even my bag is chuckling. Beach, please.

WELL, I watched a YouTube video. And I looked at some pictures on Pinterest. And then I got distracted by Cillian Murphy and writing about gangsters in the 1920s and did you know that Alcatraz means pelican??

And here we are.

I think it boils down to this: A PLAN, I NEED A PLAN.

And I think, to start the plan, I need to:

  1. Figure out what kind of crap interesting things to post on social media
  2. Reels? Instagram Stories? TikTok? Create and film.
  3. Determine a creating/filming/posting schedule for all things social media
  4. Blog more
  5. Remember to also write and schedule that too.

I’m not entirely comfortable with this plan.

I’m also super distracted by what sounds like two horse sized birds outside just SCREAMING at each other and it’s intense.

Buckle up, bishes. It’s time to wrangle up all the ducks, get them in a row, and get organized. Or something resembling organized, look, I’ll settle for a very bare bones plan. As long as there’s snacks.