Sometimes I think the notion of “being a published author” hasn’t firmly settled in my brain yet, you know, somewhere between the official name of a Civil War Napoleon (Model 1857 Light Gun 12 pound Howitzer) and the lyrics to the song “Cows with Guns” (We will run free with the buffalo or diiiiiiiiiie).  Yet this is actually happening.  This time next year, you can come see me at a bookstore or at a battlefield and hang out with me.  Buy my book.  Tell me how much you too love Evan Peters as Lobster Boy on American Horror Story: Freak Show and see absolutely nothing wrong with his lobster like hands and impish grin.  What’s up, Jimmy Darling?

But I digress.

Here it is: the finalized cover art for Anything You Ask of Me!  I am so in love with it, to the point it leaves me speechless.  Speechless is the Sasquatch of my personality: it’s the thing of rumors or sketchy stories no one actually believes.  But this is fantastic.  Go ahead and judge my book by its cover: it’s awesome.

I’d buy it.

When I first saw it, I made this bizarre little noise in my throat (I’m congested, okay, I sound like Roz from Monster’s Inc. on the phone) that sounded something like, “Eeeeiiiiiiiigh” and pushed the phone so far into The Hubs face that he couldn’t actually see the picture, but as an all around good guy said, “Well, that’s awesome!”  Now I’ve recovered enough to post it on Facebook (it’s not real until it’s on Facebook) and blog about it.  It’s real now, guys.  Cover, release date: totally real.

So, with that in mind, it’s time to buckle down and really figure out my book tour plan.  Thing.  Thus far, my plan has been something like this:

• Sign books in places.

That’s a legit start, right?  That’s like, determining your thesis before actually writing your paper.  This much I remember from my Communications Skills classes I had to take in college.  I’ve been in contact with someone/somewhere about a possible release party (more to come on that later), so that’s pretty exciting.  I’m not really sure what one does at a release party.  So far my plan is to have food and talk a lot.  And wear my go go boots because, yes, that is happening.  Do we serve snacks?  Do I bring free bookmarks and/or pens to giveaway?  Do I feel comfortable giving away pens and not keeping them for myself?  Questions to ponder.

Speaking of pens, this happened at Target in State College last weekend: I decided to treat myself with a new binder, college ruled paper and pen pack (because other than drinking a bottle of wine, that’s the literary way to treat yourself).  I like one, possibly two types of pens.  I had both in my purse.  I could not find them.  I spent like, fifteen minutes in the pen/paper aisle trying to find a suitable replacement, which yes, I probably would have done anyway.  There was a girl there who was….maybe in high school (I’m so bad guessing ages), also picking out pens.  Her dad looked at her and said, “It’s just a pen.”  She said, “No, Dad, I need the pen.”  I said, “I totally feel your pain.”  And, no, I didn’t find the pens I wanted but I got two anyway.  I’m expanding my horizons.

So, all I need is a book signing plan, places to sign books, and a heap of confidence in place prior to August 4, 2015.  Less than a year.  Let’s do this.

I’m going to buy a great pen for my first signing.  Just you wait.

Oh, and click here for my novel’s page at Knox Robinson Publishing’s site.  Buy it and I’ll sign it.  I’ll write something scandalous and then we’ll laugh and laugh and laugh.  See, my signings will be rad.  I’m going to put my hair in a bouffant and that, on its own, is rad.