As an introvert, I’ve been training for pandemic for my entire adult life. I’m bad at making phone calls, bad at making plans, bad at following through on plans when I could just sit on my couch in my lounge clothes and scroll Pinterest.
And when I say lounge clothes, what I mean is yoga pants and a t-shirt. Not like…a cocktail dress and stilettos.
Since I work at home, I’m in the house all day. Let me rephrase that: since I work at home, I’m in the house all day with my children. I have to do something to drown out their YouTube videos, their burping, their fighting, the sounds of messes being made that I don’t want to deal with now OR later….the sound of clogged toilets…..
So podcasts.
I’ve become that gal your mom warned you about. I mean, maybe I was before, but now I’m stressed, depressed, and true crime obsessed. WANT TO TALK ABOUT SERIAL KILLERS???? DAHMER NOM NOMS!!! And boy do I love dark humor mixed with true crime. Who’d have thought, right? J/K, my mom has known I was weird since the 80s when I binged on Return to Oz and The Neverending Story.
–Here, for your pandemic pleasure are–
The Sassy 7: My Top 7 Favorite Podcasts (in no particular order)
- Last Podcast on the Left–True crime/conspiracy theories/humor/paranormal: Okay, so I lied. This one is probably my favorite. Ben, Henry, and Marcus are the trifecta of awesomeness: Ben’s the tall, awkward guy, Marcus is charming and does the best research on any podcast ever, and Henry is kind of like tiny, hairy, half crazed marmoset that goes from screaming to screaming in character voices to serious, well thought out theories. There’s a really broad range of topics they cover and some are really heavy hitters, like Gacy and Bundy and the Toy Box Killer. The 9/11 Conspiracy episode blew my mind. Some of my favorites: Rasputin, The Peoples Temple, Josef Mengele, The JFK Assassination, the Creepypasta episodes, Katharine Knight….I can keep going if you want. Seriously, though, start with Rasputin–I laughed until I cried. Warning: Be mindful that at least 2 out of 3 are satanists and there can be anti-religion banter and there’s always a lot of swearing.
- Morbid–True crime/paranormal/humor: These gals are life. Alaina is an autopsy tech and her sister Ash is a hair stylist. They are incredible, charming and funny and the cases they cover are very, very well researched. The ladies also cover some heavy hitters, but they’ll give you plenty of trigger warnings. Alaina brings a ton to the table with her medical knowledge and Ash is so damn lovable, that you kind of want to just hang out with them and banter. They do a ton of current cases (like Lori Vallow or Vanessa Guillen). And, much like LPOTL, they also have lighter, hilarious episodes like their Listener Tales. Warning: Swearing
- The Brothers Commonplace–True crime/humor: My dudes! Okay, so, I devoted an entire blog post to these guys. They’re charming. They’re dang lovable. I have laughed so hard during their episodes that I’ve cried–their DB Cooper episode had me wheezing. Kev, Spence, Toof, Tim are the brothers I never knew I needed. Their format has changed a bit, where one week they’ll do true crime and the next week they’ll do comedy. My lord, their stories of working together and Toof Stories….so great. Warning: Swearing, lots of dark dark humor.
- Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet–humor: Time to switch things up with the podcast I’m currently binging! Beach Too Sandy is hosted by brother/sister team Alex and Christine, who dramatically read the worst reviews on the internet. So, like, Yelp reviews or product reviews. I know, it sounds weird, but you need this in your life. I laugh until I cry, and then I get irritated when my phone rings because I have to pause it and I was really happy there for a hot minute. This is the distraction you need during pandemic. Warning: Swearing
- My Dad Wrote A Porno–humor: It’s exactly what it sounds like: a guy’s dad wrote an erotic fiction novel, Belinda Blinked, and he and his pals get together to read it. And it is AMAZING. They’re British, so that’s a delight to begin with, like if Tom Hiddleston read Fifty Shades of Gray or something. Idk. I didn’t get past like, Chapter Four in 50 Shades because my brain can’t handle present tense. Trust me, Belinda Blinked is better. It’s simultaneously adorable and unsettling that someone’s dad wrote it. You’ll laugh until you pee, then you’ll laugh at that. Warning: Clearly. It’s erotic fiction and it’s 99.9% adult situations.
- Southern Fried True Crime–true crime: This podcast is devoted to true crime in the South. Erica Kelley has the most soothing voice I’ve ever heard in my life (other than Tabitha Brown, the woman on TikTok who makes vegan and inspirational videos. She and Samuel L. Jackson can narrate my life please. She’d be like, “girl, you gotta love yourself.” And Samuel L. Jackson would be like, “Get your shit together motherfucker!”). And she does not sugarcoat her opinion on the cases she discusses: she’s going to let you know just who the asshole is and she’s going to demand justice for the victims. All with Southern charm and a side of sweet tea. And bourbon. Warning: Adult language
- The Minds of Madness–true crime: So, there’s clearly a pattern in this list. I’m stuck in my ways. The Minds of Madness is…….Canadian? Maybe? *Quick Google search* Yes, Toronto. Minds of Madness is pretty sweet, because he’ll interview people connected to the case in the episode, if he can. Another soothing voice, somewhat less brutal case description than the other podcasts, but he also covers how these crimes impact the survivors. And lets not forget THE BEST OUTRO MUSIC: “Feel the Madness” by the Funkoars. The only thing I know about them is that they’re Australian.
Honorable mention: Someone Knows Something, specifically Season 5: Kerrie Brown. This is (yet another) true crime podcast and, whereas the other recommendations have a different case per episode, this one explores one case per season. The murder of Kerrie Brown covered in Season 5 was absolutely haunting. Journalist David Ridgen travels to Thompson, Manitoba, and dives deep into the case. He interviews her family, friends, the main suspect–it’s intense. And the fact that this case remains unsolved is just heartbreaking.
The only other thing I’ve been listening to during pandemic is the Original Broadway Cast album for Hamilton. 10/10 recommend. Imagine The Hubs delight when I pulled out my Hamilton face mask yesterday. False. False, he was the opposite of excited.
What’s your favorite podcast? Or, do you have your own podcast? Leave a comment and I’ll check it out!