It’s been a minute since I blogged. Let’s get you caught up:

2022–Chaos, anxiety, panic

2023–Chaos, anxiety, panic, RESTART

And here we are.

So, when I say that I had a RESTART, what I mean is that after being a carb consuming, indoor troll for three years of pandemic, I said, “OKAY, WE’VE FOOLED AROUND LONG ENOUGH.”

Except I said it to myself. Because I’ve worked at home since 2014 and am basically a ghoul who doesn’t play well with others.

Anyway.

The first thing I did with the writer restart was stop everything. And I mean everything: I haven’t published a full length novel since 2022. Ughhhh, terrible. BUT, starting in spring of last year, I rewrote my historical/paranormal novel Haunt and my paranormal/dystopian Claimed. Claimed also got a brand spanking new cover. So, that took some time, because it was rewrite, re-edit, redo all the front/back matter, formatting, Amazon deets, you know. Everything. It was exhausting.

Theeeen, I wrote a collection of horror stories–I know, right?? The Haunted Ones, featuring my favorite cover, is actually free if you sign up for my newsletter. Or you can get the paperback version of Amazon.

Which brings us to November. November. I’m currently working on two new series (Deep Purple and Hot Pink; more to come on those) and I’d spent October prepping for NaNoWriMo: National Novel Writing Month, which I’ve done since like, its inception and have never “won” because I have the attention span of a flea. But this year. THIS YEAR I’d prepared. I outlined. I made notecards. I plotted. I had a binder full of ideas and outlines and all this great stuff. LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUMBLLLLLLE!!!

November 1, 2023.

I am trying to eat healthier because I’m fat these days. I was making a tasty crock pot dinner, enchiladas and cheese or something. I needed to chop a jalapeño pepper. One. Small.

I took precautions I THOUGHT but I didn’t wear gloves–despite, you know, having gloves in the house because I bleach/dye/cut my own hair. I’m cheap. I was so, so so careful. I didn’t touch the seeds, I THOUGHT. I didn’t touch my face, I THOUGHT. I thoroughly washed my hands once I was done and didn’t touch my face.

I THOUGHT.

So, I went downstairs to my work office. And, as I sat there working, I started to notice….my nostril was a wee bit tingly. Weird, right. Like, I didn’t touch my face. Not that I remembered anyway.

And then, out of nowhere, my face caught on fire. Not literally, of course, but my nostril and my lips and the area between my nose and my lips was sizzling. So much so, that I jumped up from my desk and ran back of stairs. I tried to make it stop with soap and water….

….which was clearly not the correct answer. Now, not only is my face on fire, but my hands are also on fire. At this point, I’m googling jalapeño face pain, but I’m doing really badly because my fingers hurt so much. But success! Here’s something that is supposed to alleviate jalapeño reactions AND it’s something I have! In the fridge!!

It’s Greek Yogurt!

Soooo, I get my brand new container of 2% unsweetened Greek yogurt and take it into the bathroom; where I proceed to slather yogurt on my upper lip, my lips, and a wee little bit inside my left nostril. I literally had a yogurt mustache. A thick, yogurt, mustache.

At work.

But, work at home, so at least I could be all yogurty in the privacy of my own home. The only problem was that I didn’t want to slather yogurt on my hands because that would making typing somewhat difficult. It’s a nightmare in the making; I mean, The Hubs would walk in and there’d be yogurt handprints on the fridge door. I just….eh.

But you know what? It worked! I had a flame free face and washed off the yogurt before the fam came home. At this point, though, my hands still hurt and typing was a bitch. Older Son–who is now 13 and taller than me–shuffles into the room and was like, “Just use olive oil, bruh.”

Yes. I’ve gone from Momma, to Mommy, to Mom, to Bruh.

Back the kitchen I go: washing my hands in olive oil and just generally irritated at this point. And of course it worked. Sometimes teenagers DO know it all.

Anyway, all this to say that I didn’t win NaNoWriMo 2023 either.

It’s nice to see that, if nothing else, the 2020s have been consistent. Like, a consistent dumpster fire. But hey, put on those flame proof pants and climb aboard!!