There was a brief, brief moment during our recent vacation where The Hubs and I almost got some great pictures of our cruise ship sailing away from Nassau without us. Luckily, one of The Hubs qualities is an innate sense of direction. Even when drunk, his internal radar got us from Senor Frog’s–a bar where even pedestrian’s need designated drivers–and back to the ship before it left. Did he win a beer chugging competition? Yes. Was I in a drunk conga line? Yes. Did we pee in a government building? Yes.
This year’s jaunt to warmer weather was to the Eastern Caribbean. It was amazing. The only downside to the cruise was the fact that, from the moment we got to Miami, we turned into the Rip Van Curleys. I seriously have not slept that much in my life. Example: From Nassau, we got back on the ship around 2pm. I don’t actually remember getting back on the ship, but whatever. We promptly fell asleep. We slept from 2pm until 9pm. Puked. Ordered room service. Then slept from 11pm until 8:30am. We literally slept through lunch, dinner, second dinner, and midnight snacks. This is not getting one’s money’s worth.
We weren’t actually supposed to go to Nassau. I mean, we weren’t scheduled to go. We didn’t illegally cross borders or something and smuggle ourselves into Nassau when no one was looking. We were supposed to go to Half Moon Cay, but there was a medical emergency onboard and we had to be diverted to Nassau. As related above, I don’t remember a lot about Nassau. In fact, the Senor Frog’s Swingers Club photograph here I don’t remember having taken. But I look happy. Anyway, while in Nassau, (and this was before Senor Frog’s) we fell in line with a random group of tourists all heading in the same direction, just to see where we’d end up. The beach. We ended up at the beach. Still, this was exciting. I watched a guy jump off a pier after his Starbuck’s cup. I stood in some sand. I drank a yard of beverage at Senor Frog’s, which was what The Hubs won after dominating a beer chugging contest. A yard. It’s no wonder I have no recollection of getting back to the ship.
We went on a shore excursion in St. Thomas, which took us to some nifty historical sites on the island. It also took us to the shopping district. And when I say shopping district, what I mean is somehow we ended up going down the wrong street and into the Expensive Jewelry Stores of St. Thomas land. I stood inside of Tiffany’s for a few minutes, pretending to browse, and I swear the horrified bald man behind the counter could smell the poor on me. That’s fine, whatev. We also went to a bar called Magic Ice which, although expensive, was a delightful little ice experience for people not used to cold. We were bundled up in parkas and mittens and send into a 21 degree ice box, where, we could drink shots at an ice bar (literally carved from ice) and slide down an ice slide. I heard a guy go down the slide and scream “It’s just like Pittsburgh!” What’s up, Western Pennsylvania? Of course we’re hanging out in an ice box. We know cold. I went down the slide three times. I also got my picture taken with a pirate at Blackbeard’s castle. “I want to write about Pirates” I informed The Hubs.
San Juan! San Juan! You’re amazing! I loved San Juan. We ate street vendor food in San Juan. We ran all over not one, but two forts. Our tour group jay walked in front of a muscular policeman in bicycle shorts. According to our tour guide, jay walking is legal in San Juan? I’ll go with that. We threw caution to the wind and walked back to the port instead of relying on public transportation because why? Because The Hubs can read a map and I can walk fast. Look, I’m telling you, go to San Juan and eat delicious empanadas and little corn cake things filled with delicious hot cheese.
Our time spent at the forts was fantastic. I said to The Hubs, “Now I really want to write about Pirates!” The forts were from the 1500-1600s and were incredible. From their start to now, the forts were never taken.
I also met a 7 foot tall Canadian. There’s nothing out of the ordinary about this, I guess, but that’s the guy you want in your tour group because you will never, ever lose him in a crowd.
After our trip to Half Moon Cay got cancelled and The Hubs and I were really sad because we were supposed to swim with stingrays there, we made ourselves feel better by booking an excursion called the “All Inclusive Beach Excursion.” It promised food. Unlimited rum punch. A beach chair on a private beach and a water trampoline and drinking and sand and whatnot.
So, of course, it rained.
It didn’t just rain, but it poured all day long. Two things happened because of this: we made friends with the coolest kids on the bus, who were just as sarcastic as we are (and he’s an Army kid just like The Hubs) I knew we would be friends the minute I heard him say, “Rain? No. This is liquid sunshine. I wish it would rain more.” Second, we took the party from wet beach chairs to wet deck chairs to the bar. Once at the bar, things got real. Immediate refills on rum punch. A bar tender well versed in the art of peer pressure and giving free shots of the strongest rum I’ve had in my life. A burly British man named Wolf. This was the place dreams are made. People kept saying that Kelly and I must be sisters, because we’re so much alike. Darn right! We laughed. We ate pizza. We caused general mayhem and then ate more pizza.
Our next cruise is already booked for January 2016.
I’m only adding Philly because I’d never been there. I ate a Philly cheese steak that was life altering. Delicious.
So, there you have it. Cruise 2015. Now that we’re back to real life, I finished editing my next historical novel, “Since April” and got my submission packet ready to go. And now it’s time reach into the bag of novel ideas and pick out the next book to write. Pirates? Paranormal? Paranormal pirates (nah, it’s been done)? Back to the Civil War? Decisions, decisions. It’s my ongoing battle. Guess we’ll see which storyline wins out this time….