Writing Conference Day Two: With no time to pee, I just ate cookies

So here’s the thing. I once was a college student. In fact, I went for four years and graduated. I know at some point in my life, I had a schedule of classes and minimal time to work in bathroom breaks while getting from point A to point B. Because I hate being late. Hate it. I would rather not go somewhere than show up late.

In my advanced, early 30s age, I have lost this skill. I literally could not work in time to pee. Which is weird, because that isn’t like snacking; it’s not like, oh, I’ll just wait to eat my granola bar so I can make this phone call. And it’s not like the bathrooms were gross because…well…

Okay, so once upon a time The Hubs and I went to a reenactment at a camp ground that shall remain nameless that had a bit of a spider problem. And when I say “a bit of a spider problem,” what I mean is sparrow sized field spiders whose corpses COVERED the bathroom walls. And floor. I would rather pee in a ditch beside the car than use the spider infested bathhouse that, in my opinion, was reminiscent of the barn in Arachnophobia. I think the reenactment coordinators realized it was disconcerting, as they gave away free soup and free gobs to everyone. And I was still not impressed.

And none of that had anything to do with today. Other than the fact that yeah, I totally realize though I may have a bladder of steel now, I’ll probably be wearing Depends by the time I’m 38. I’m okay like that. Reenactments will be that much easier.

Things I Learned Today:

1. Chuck Sambuchino is a lot shorter in person than I thought he’d be. And he is crazy awesome, crazy intimidating, and crazy inspiring. All at once.

2. My query letter is crap. So. That’s my self assigned homework for tonight.

3. Cracked by KM Walton is an amazing YA and if you haven’t read it, you need to. I don’t even normally notice YA, but wow. Incredible!

4. If like, 45 people tell me how amazing Donald Maass and his Writing the Breakthrough Novel book are, I will creepily hover behind a person looking over the last available copy in the conference bookstore and pounce on it when she puts it down like we live in some kind of treeless dystopian society where no more books will ever be printed. Because I totally did that. I was bummed the companion workbook was sold out. But. You know. Bookstore I guess.

And last, but probably most important:

5. I think my book is New Adult.

I’d heard this term a couple times, but today an agent really, clearly explained it. New Adult is that awkward age when, yeah, you’re out of college and have your shit together but you’re just really a hot mess.

Sometimes I feel as if I’ve never left the New Adult age group, as I am perpetually a hot mess.

Moreover, I think my book fits into this category. As in, really well.

So, I don’t know. It’s an interesting concept and I might see where it goes. It can’t hurt.

Oh and hey, I ate some fantastic cookies today. And a brownie. And I could easily justify helping myself because, hey. They’re just going to get thrown out afterwards. That’s wasteful. And Lord knows I’m against waste of deliciousness. Peanut butter chip cookies? Why yes. I’ll take four.

Tomorrow is the last day. Boo. And it’s only a half day. Double boo. Countdown to next year starts now!!!

Oh, and PS. Remember yesterday’s comment about skinny jeans? Yeah. I totally wore them today. And was horrified. But I rocked them! No fear. And no shame, since Lord knows there is no room for error in skinny jeans.


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