Elevator Snob and Editing Enthusiast: This is real life, kids.

As the A to Z Challenge continues, my initial thought for E was editing.  Since, you know, that’s pretty much my life these days once my kids go to bed.  And in the quick five or ten minutes in-between finishing my breakfast and running out the door in the morning. 

It occurred to me, however, as I hustled into the building this morning, that I am also an elevator snob.

I came to this conclusion when I realized that I was walking as slow as I possibly could just to avoid having to share an elevator.

There’s no rationalization for this type of behavior.  I’m just an awkward elevator rider.  I’ll stare at the door, I’ll stare at the numbers as they increase upward.  I’ve pretended to dig through my bag to find my cell phone.  I just…I just don’t want to make awkward conversation or eye contact. 

I have a vague inkling where this comes from.

When I was in college, I used to take public transportation into the city for school.  My freshman year, I was running a few minutes late and the train was already at the station as I got there.  I was still in the “omg, I need to get to class ten minutes early or I’m late” frame of mine (okay, I’ll be honest.  I never lost that frame of mind) and started running.  My backpack was flopping all over the place, I was hot footing it down the sidewalk; train in site…

…and then my platform sandals got tangled up in my bellbottom hiphugger jeans.  And I fell.

Not only did I fall, but I fell in front of an entire platform of disembarking passengers and a train full of people.

Awesome.

The driver waited for me and I–in total horror–boarded and awkwardly sat down.  People asked if I was okay.  I prayed I wasn’t hemorrhaging blood out of my skinned knee and was like, “yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

To.  This.  Day.  I will not run for a train.  I won’t run for a bus.  I won’t run for an elevator–in fact, if I see people getting in the elevator, chances are I’ll walk past like it’s not my destination (albeit the fact I’m wearing a coat and carrying a bag) and then loop back around. 

Yeah, I’m a dork.  But that’s previously been established.

Look, what it comes down to is that I’m just not willing to risk tripping over my feet and landing in a heap on the floor.  I can stumble over just standing around.  And it’s bad enough when you fall in front of strangers, let alone people you see on a daily basis!

Case in point: I got in the elevator yesterday and tripped, almost falling into the wall because apparently I’m a disaster in heels.  My legs look awesome, true.  But yikes.  I don’t register high on the grace meter.

But I register darn high on the motivation to edit meter.  Just a little over one month to go until conference!  Mother of God!!!!!

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4 thoughts on “Elevator Snob and Editing Enthusiast: This is real life, kids.

  1. I’m a sucker for stories of humiliation or awkwardness, due to the fact I am so awkward and embarrassing most of the time! When I trip, I usually turn it into a little jog and pretend I am running to meet someone. I also make a regular habit of waving at someone who isn’t actually waving at me. Hope you’re enjoying the challenge as much as I am. Good luck.

  2. Just plain fun that was, Heather, of course at your expense…but still fun.Anyone who doesn’t believe our for capacity for creating humorous outcomes is on a par with our capacity for greatness doesn’t get out much. Yes, this is the voice of experience speaking, well not so much for the greatness bit but unplanned comedy..oh my. Have a good day and take the stairs.

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