Buy links: With Me Now

As Book Release Day draws to a close, I’ve been a happy camper.  And for those who were wondering, today’s theme song turned out to be “Everything is Awesome” from The Lego Movie.  Everyone at Day Job who came to me with a complaint today got a ridiculously wide smile and a giddy, “But it’s Book Release Day!  Everything is awesome!”

Yes.

A huge, HUGE thanks to those who left me sweet comments on Facebook, bought my book, or tweeted about my on Twitter!  I felt like a princess all day.

But, to the point: So, you’re interested in buying With Me Now?  You can use these links below:

Evernight Publishing

Amazon

Don’t forget the challenge–buy With Me Now and write a review by the end of July and one lucky awesome reader/reviewer will get to pick of prize of their choice.  Yay!  Reviews are awesome!

And, in other news, a cat showed up on my back porch this week and today I took him to the vet, just to make sure he wasn’t the catalyst for the zombie apocalypse or something (Zombie Kittah!!!!).  I’m in love.  Happy Book Release Day, Kittah!!

That moment of exhaustion when you become a published author

You know that look Olympic torch runners get, just as they’re starting to approach the Cauldron, preparing to the light the flame that will shine over the “We get along so well!” best two weeks of television sports coverage/don’t call me because I’m watching the Olympics moment of epic-ness?

That’s the moment I’m envisioning I’m having right now.

I’m also envisioning that there’s theme music.  I’ve narrowed it down to:

  • From This Moment
  • We Are the Champions
  • Champion (by RuPaul–I sing this in my head every time something good happens)
  • The Theme from Bonanza

Here’s what actuality would be playing if this moment had musical accompaniment:

  • Flagpole Sitta

With Me Now is now available for you and all your friends to buy.  Yes.  Oh, Random Contemporary.  Sniff.  I remember when you were a hilarious distraction from the seriousness of my other books.  Now, you’re a thing.

Shameless self-promotion: Click here to purchase With Me Now as an ebook.  I don’t know how to sign and ebook for you, but if we can figure it out together, I will.  And I’ll write something sassy.

banner 1Guys, this is the moment I’ve dreamed of!  I dreamed about this moment more than dreaming of graduating college or getting a driver’s license or getting drunk at the zoo (wait, what?).  Did I expect to be sitting here in a sports bra and my underwear after working out to p90x3?  No.  No I did not.

But here were are.

I did some research tonight on how to market and ebook or do a book tour and all that jazz (and all that jazz!).  Here’s what I got out of it.  Nothing.  Nothing!  Well, nothing that actually was useful to me.  Most of it required spending money on Facebook Ads (and let’s be honest, my Facebook fan page is pretty crappy) or lots of complex charts and diagrams and a sentence I misread as “show them your Taser” instead of “show them your talent” and I thought, wow, that’s really taking marketing to the extreme….

….So look, here we are on my blog.  I’ll show you my hand: I got nothing.  I’ve got no elaborate marketing plan for a blog tour and frankly, I’m relying on the kindness of my fellow authors at Evernight to host me for a “surprise, it’s my book!” tour.  But hey, I’ll make you a deal.  If you purchase With Me Now and leave a review of what you thought about the book on the Evernight site or on Amazon by the end of July, you can win an awesome prize.  In fact, I’ll let you pick which awesome prize you want.  People, you need to do this.  Somebody other than my mother needs to enter and win.  She’s getting an ego.

Seriously, I’m so excited!  I seriously hope you guys like With Me Now because I, though somewhat biased, think it’s pretty awesome.  Let’s party and do crazy things.  Book release day: It’s on!

Book Release Date: With Me Now

This is happening.

coverOn June 25, With Me Now is being published!  Yes.  YES.  Remember when With Me Now was just innocent Random Contemporary?  We laughed, we joked, we kidded how this wasn’t a thing and then it was a thing?  Well, no more talk.  This is legit happening, through Evernight Publishing, and let me tell you, I am stoked.

Here’s the cover.  Love.  It.

This is book one of The Lazarus Society which, pretty much, means I need to get my butt in gear and finish writing book two.  Now just to find extra time for this to happen (upcoming blog spoiler alert: A 5k or two.  Or three.  Are in my immediate future).

After, I don’t know, a century of submitting/getting rejection/crying/whining/swearing off writing/continuing to write, all of this is happening rather fast.  I mean.  I’ll have a published piece in five days.  Five days.

My goal is to revisit this moment of panic I’m having in, oh, a month or so, and say to myself, “Well, that wasn’t altogether unpleasant.”

In the midst of training for my 5k, working out with P90x3, working Day Job, being momma, and occasionally feeling up The Hubs, I need to figure out how to do a book release.  This is excellent.  This is going to show how well I work under pressure!  That’s like….a resume quality skill right there!

In all seriousness.  What should we do, guys?  What do you want to see?  Tell you what–let’s have a party or something on the 25th.  Sure!  We’ll have some kind of super awesome release party blog post…..thing.  Or maybe I’ll set something up on Facebook, once I figure out how to set something up on Facebook.  Maybe a giveaway?  Maybe I’ll post an excerpt?

Keep an eye out here for updates.  When I figure out what I’m doing, I post an awesome sauce Schedule of Events.  No pressure or anything.  No set up for possible failure, right?  Right.  Let’s do this!

Omg.  It’s happening!  That sound you hear is my joints popping and my knees crackling as I do my victory dance.  Jig, Jig, Jig.

So, this happened: News, updates, and let’s all go to the lobby

For reasons I can’t explain, the song “Let’s all go to the lobby!  And grab ourselves a snack!” has been in my head this afternoon.  Possibly this is due to the fact I feel anytime is a good time to proceed to the lobby and grab a snack.  These days, since I’m in a wedding in July (and we all remember what happened last time I was in a wedding…if you’re just now tuning in, see here and here) so I’m not in Diet Mode.  And Diet Mode means I’m working out 7 days a week and my snacks are carrot sticks.  I’m excited.  I’m now 130 pounds of coiled steel.

Anyway.

So, this just happened: I signed with an agent!  YES!!  Last month, I signed with TZLA Literary Agency, with the awesome Rossano Trentin.  I’m thrilled that he will be handling Since April because that book so near and dear to my heart.  I’m still trying to put my muse back together after that one (shout out to my girl Lindsey: sistas!!).  So, good things are in the works for Since April.  There’s a lot in the pipeline (side note: I’m throwing up in my mouths as I type that, because my crappy manager and my crappy previous job used to say that at our sales meeting every week but it seared into my brain) right now and I’m excited.  And terrified.  But mostly excited.  Upcoming blog spoiler alert: It’ll be the one where I beg you to come to my book release party.

snappysIn other news, part of the reason I’ve been silent (stop laughing, sometimes I’m a quiet person) of late is because I spent two weeks traveling for business.  It was work and it was exciting.  Diet Mode and I did not get along fabulously well during the two weeks I was away.  But look at this tasty little delight I was introduced to: Snappy’s Salads.  Evidently, you can only find Snappy’s Salads in the Dallas area.  Frankly, I’m willing to go back to Dallas for Snappy’s Salads and Edoko Sushi alone.  The salad to the left is the half Bam Bam.  No onions.  Edemame instead.

The deliciousness cannot be adequately explained.

We got lost….well, basically anytime we left the hotel, and literally the only way I found my way from the hotel to the office or the airport to the office was using Snappy’s Salads.  Not that the office didn’t have a legit address, but I didn’t actually know the address.  So, Snappy’s was not only my go to place for lunch, but also a beacon guiding me down the eight lane Dallas highways.  That’s how kids from Western Pennsylvania roll.

Update wise, I still haven’t settled on a new writing project and just keep bouncing back and forth between about three projects and flirting with another on the side.  I need to stop being so indecisive and just stop wandering around the room and actually write.  I’ve set myself a goal of getting mass quantities of writing done before the end of July when I trade in my slack time for my “no time to stop at pee” time.  Namely:

  • Summer Safari (zoo shenanigans!)
  • One Direction concert (mad lusting after Harry Styles; #sorrynotsorry)
  • Book Release Party Extravaganza starring me (panic at the vineyard!)
  • Maine Warrior Salute (supporting our troops and getting dirty in the process!)

And then it’s September and a girl’s thought’s turn to the dreaded annual New Year’s Eve post where I set myself up for failure.  Yeah!

Well, now that it’s near midnight, I’m hungry and need a snack.  No.  Bueno.  Time to go count out some carrot sticks.  If you need me, I’ll be weeping over the vegetable crisper and trying to avoid the enticing gaze of cheese (it’s been a loooong diet, kids).

With me Now book blurb: Let it begin!!! Let it begin!!!!

In the excitement of the moment, and in the midst of singing the theme song from Bonanza, I forgot to post my book blub for With Me Now.  Let’s remedy that now:

Evernight-FamilyMadison Monroe is an anthropology prodigy. She’s poised to graduate with a double major. She’s published in scholarly journals and archeology magazines. With limited field experience, the crowning jewel for her graduate school application is an upcoming dig in Normandy.

And she just got arrested for underage drinking.

Less than a month before she turns twenty-one.

Now, instead of taking part in her dream dig, she’s kicked off the crew and barely escapes academic probation. Her only option for her application is a routine archeological survey in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

Once in Gettysburg, though, the “simple” dig isn’t exactly what it seems.  Madison can feel a presence watching her and can hear voices of the dead calling from the battlefield.  And, when she discovers a long buried secret at the Spangler Farm, she inadvertently sets off a chain of events that will put everything—including her life—on the line. (note: this is the unedited version)

I’ve also helpfully posted it on the About My Books page, though, these WordPress pages don’t scroll on indefinitely.  The next book that’s published means I’ll probably have to make new tabs for each book/series.  For now, I’m putting that off.  Because, yes, I’m lazy.

My recently finished historical, Since April, is getting rejected left and right.  Jeez.  If that’s not depressing and a swift, firm kick to the old ego.  For my thoughts and self-depreciating humor on that topic, see this post, the ever popular The Lament of the Rejected WriterHere’s a salacious rundown of some of the most popular reasons for rejections:

  • Pacing problems pulled (us) from the story
  • Secondary characters are too stereotypical
  • Characters need fleshed out
  • The main character is too unreliable a narrator to be enjoyable.

Yeah.  The last two don’t really gel and as for the last….yeah, I can understand it, but the main character is a drug addict with PTSD.  So, you’d expect her to be a hair unreliable.

And thusly, Since April gets shoved in to the old “stuff I’m not concerned about” at this point in time.  Maybe back to the drawing board with it?  It was emotional suicide writing it and took a lot out of me.  I don’t think I’m ready to face rejection on it right now because the old muse still feels too raw.

In other news, I’m starting the 21 Day Fix Diet/Eating plan tomorrow.  I’m excited!  It’s time to get in shape for the summer and while, argumentatively, round is a shape, my recent schedule shift to ten hour days is making a little, well, thick in the hips.  I don’t really want my tattoos flapping in the breeze this summer.  Any fellow Beach Body peeps out there?  If so, I blog on the Team Beach Body site about fitness and my “get fit” adventure.  I’m groovegirl64.

What’s up, May?  Time to start a new chapter and a new adventure!  To quote the movie, Bolt; specifically the hamster Rhino, “Let it begin!!!  Let it begin!!!”

Bonanza! And so this happened!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…..

…..So, those of you who have been here awhile might remember a little project called Random Contemporary.  Random Contemporary was a glorious rebellion on my part.  You know, me: the person who once purchased 500 business cards that specifically say “Historical Fiction Author.”

Revolution!

contractWell, now I guess I’ll have to slap a sticker on the back that says something like, But wait!  There’s more!  Random Contemporary (Real title: With Me Now) is being published!  I signed a contract with Evernight Publishing and I’m stoked!

Here, you’ll see the actual signing taking place.  Younger Child selected my hat for the occasion.  Pretty jaunty, if you ask me.  Aw, Random Contemporary: the little book that started out as a sarcastic joke and now will be published!  This means that Random Contemporary 2: Son of Contemporary is going to happen.

Unrelated: I’ve been living under a rock for the past, I don’t know, thirty years and just saw Tremors for the first time this week.  What a great movie!  Kevin Bacon, wow.  So imagine my disappointment when Tremors 2 did not include Kevin Bacon.  I fell asleep after thirty-five minutes.

Random Trivia: It may have taken me until 2015 to see Tremors, but I saw Critters in, like, 1987 and didn’t start sleeping with my feet hanging off the bed until recently.  The struggle is real, guys.  I was so petrified of that movie that I wouldn’t even touch the VHS tape.

In other news, I went to Claire’s today.  You know Claire’s, an explosion of pink and sparkles and sequins and glitter and ear-piercing guns and super happy music.  My sponsored child, Fatime, is turning 14 in a few weeks and, despite the fact I turned 14 in 1996, I have a vague recollection of what it’s like to be a teenager.

And then I bought myself earrings and a One Direction t-shirt.  Winning!

The cashier, who I assumed was 19, was ringing up my selections of hair do-dads and trendy (maybe? hopefully?) jewelry and then came to the t-shirt.  “Wow, you put together a great birthday bag, that’s for sure!”

“I’ll be honest,” my mouth said, “the t-shirt is for me. No Shame.”  Ha ha!  I’m a freak!

“Oh.  I don’t like One Direction.”  She pushed her glasses up her nose with one finger.  “I like New Kids on the Block.”

And then this awkward conversation happened where she admitted she was older than me and thought that Donnie Wahlberg was the creepiest creeper that ever creeped in the 90s.

#That moment when old fangirls unite.

So, wow, this summer is shaping up to be a tidy little adventure!  Two books coming out.  Weddings.  The fourth anniversary of my 29th birthday.  One Direction!

Oh, and a diet.  Yippee Skippy.

Back to the North: And it’s nothing but excitement

At the end of our vacation to Mississippi, The Hubs and I attempted to take a romantic shower together.  The Rowdy Boys were out with The In-laws and we had the entire condo to ourselves.  What says “entire condo to ourselves” like a romantic, hot shower together?

Regrettably, neither of us found being at the beach as a legitimate excuse to put on sunblock.  We were so miserably sunburned all we could do is say, “ehhhhhhhhh.”  I finally said something along the lines of, “I like you and all, but my skin hurts.”

S2Our last big hurrah in Mississippi was taking a ferry out to Fort Massachusetts, aka Ship Island, aka the place we’ve tried to get to four other times but have been stopped by winter, hurricanes, and tornados.  Literally.  We were actually evacuated to the Navy base and spent the night in a warehouse (my father-in-law was on active duty at the time) during Hurricane Gustav.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if God says, “This is it, Heather” and shuffles me into a warehouse with 500 sailors, soldiers, and fly boys, I will go.  And I will go with a smile on my face.

Anyway.

Fort Massachusetts is on an itty bitty island in the gulf and, prior to the Civil War, was built as a defense for New Orleans.  I saw an alligator.  I ate a hot dog.  I drank an itty bitty beer.  You know, I honestly have no idea what happened between me holding the sunscreen and it not actually getting on my body.  Putting sunscreen on my children is like trying to put cats in a paper bag.  It’s just exhausting.  And that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.  Anyway, the beach was fantastic.  The fort was fantastic.  The sunburn that literally left a trail a skin-dust behind me every time I moved, was not.  I wore shorts one day and Older Child looked at me in horror and said, “What’s wrong with your legs?”  The Hubs said I looked like I had some kind of fungus.

And this, people, is why I don’t go outside.

Meanwhile, I got my picture taken in my bikini because apparently ‘Moms in bikinis’ trended blew up the Internet or something whileS1 we were down wriggling in the South.  So, there you go.  I’m a mom in a bikini.  In Fort Massachusetts.

Speaking of the Civil War, I’m sad to note that the 150th celebration, aka the Sesquicentennial is pretty much ending.  April 9th marked the 150th anniversary of General Lee surrendering to General Grant at Appomattox Court House.  My guys are out there this weekend in an actual horse drawn artillery battery, so if you’re down there, tell them La Belle Rebelle says hello.  Man, that was a fast war.  When we fired the guns at First Manassas, I was pregnant with Younger Child.  Now he’s potty trained and likes being off the front porch like a man (his words, not mine).  Sigh.  We’re going to need to start prepping for the bicentennial now, because Lord knows I’m going to look like a maniac in my mid 80s running around in more corset and hoop skirt.  Stay tuned for that!

And speaking of anniversaries, let’s bid The Rambling Jour a very happy third anniversary!  I’m drinking Hypnotiq and ginger ale tonight in my own honor (Viva la France!).  Three years of blogging!

tattoo2It was just a wee bit depressing to come back to Western Pennsylvania after a week in the Sunny South.  Less barbeque.  Less sunshine.  But, when we got home (as in the next day) I went and got my second tattoo.  Yay!!  Check it: a bundle of poppies.  Not poppies as in OPIUM! but poppies as in, “In Flanders Fields the poppies grow…” because nearly all the men in my family have served in the military.  This is for them.  You’ll be excited to know that I won the award for handling rib tattoos the best my guy Will has ever seen.  And, as a side note, if you need a guy to do a tattoo for you, Will at Up In Arms tattoo is the guy to see.  He did both of mine.

So, back to the norm.  I still am staring at the starts of manuscripts to decide what my next novel undertaking will be.  I’m waiting with bated breath for inspiration to strike.  This summer is shaping up to be exciting and busy: weddings, the Maine Warrior Salute (be there or be square!), my book release party, and the One Direction concert!  Bring it.***

***And when I say bring it, what I mean is a blanket and a pillow because that sounds exhausting.  I’m crazy, but I’m old.  If you need me, I’ll be the one reeeeeeeally far away from One Direction, using binoculars to ogle Harry Styles.

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